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U.S. Air Force Veteran
Kevin Payne

Kevin Payne photo.jpg

It’s 1980, my military obligations had ended and I was headed home. I couldn’t wait to see my parents and my childhood sweetheart. I got a job, married her, and we were blessed with three kids. I was living my dream life complete with the white picket fence and a dog. 

Then it all came crashing down. I went to bed on top of the world and woke up with the world on top of me. I came home from working 12 hours and was holding my daughter, 30 days old, in my arms. I went to sleep and when I woke, she had passed away. My downhill spiral had begun. The pain was unbearable - if only I hadn’t fallen asleep. I had to be strong for my family, but in quiet I was devastated. I couldn’t and didn’t know how to deal with life without my baby. My marriage went downhill because we dealt with it in different ways. She became withdrawn and depressed. I turned to drugs and alcohol. We eventually divorced and I stopped living. I was just existing. The guilt was too much for me to handle and I sunk deeper and deeper into the abyss of drugs and alcohol. 


Then the unthinkable happened again. I was at the gas station with my son and his girlfriend and my 11-month-old grandson. I was in the store and flirting with the salesperson, I heard shots, went outside, and found my son lying on the ground. His last words to me were “I love you, Dad.” His girlfriend was also killed. The guilt came back worse than before. 


Again I resorted to the use of drugs and alcohol. Again. For many years my life was like quicksand slowly sucking me down. Until I went to Alpha Omega for help - they saved my life. Mr. Walker, Kevin Ferrell, and the other staff members treated me with love and kindness. Kevin Ferrell became the big brother I never had growing up. I owe all that I am to Alpha Omega. I’ve been clean off drugs and alcohol for almost four years. In 2021 my last child died from COVID, but thanks to Alpha Omega and God I was able to make it through clean. My life is much better and I don’t sell my soul to the devil anymore. I am a productive, responsible citizen because of God and Alpha Omega.

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